Thinking Talmudist Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Thinking Talmudist Podcast.

00:13 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Welcome back everybody to the Thinking Talmudist Podcast. It is so wonderful to be back here. Hope everyone had a meaningful Shavuot receiving of the Torah, renewing our bond and our commitment to the Torah and its study. We are now in Tractate Kiddushin. We're continuing the Talmud about man's obligation to his child. We're on 30B and the Gemara now returns to the Brisa that we cited above in 29A and examines the next obligation of a father to his son, lehasiyo Isha, we said, to marry him off to a wife, to take a wife for him. Stigamora states the source for the above obligation Now, just as a return to our original founding of our Talmud podcast and that is the reason we have such a program at Torch is for us to understand that everything is sourced in the Torah. There's nothing that our sages have the right to teach us without sourcing it first in the Torah. So here, to marry off your son to a wife. Well, give me a source to that. I may like it or dislike it, but that's irrelevant. What does the Torah say about it? Where do we know it from? For it says I believe in this.

01:47
Jeremiah 29.6, the previous verse also stated that a father must see that his daughter gets married. So the Gemara asks. The Gemara asks it is understandable that a father marry off his son because it is in his father's hand to do so, but is it in his hand to marry off his daughter? The Gemara answers this is what the prophet told him Give her some of your possessions, clothe her and be decor so that men will jump at the opportunity to marry her, meaning you can't just marry her off. Make her attractive, buy her clothes, buy her jewelry, bedeck her appropriately, and then everyone will want to be married to her and they will at least you know, propose the option to her.

03:02
The next obligation of a father that a father has to his son, the lambda umnus, I just want to share, just before we continue and talk about the obligation, the next obligation that a man has, the obligation for a father to marry off their child. I don't think this can be understated. The obligation doesn't begin when they're 18, 19, 20, 25, 30 years old. The obligation begins when they're younger. To teach them about the importance of marriage, to teach them the responsibilities of marriage both to a son and to a daughter that's the obligation of a parent is to show them a good example of what marriage is, so that they desire to be in a marriage, in a relationship that's nurturing and loving. It doesn't just happen one day that a child decides oh, I want to get married and have the proper tools. It's already ingrained and entrenched into their psyche from childhood and that is a very, very important thing for us as parents to teach our children and to show our children what it means and to guide them what it means to be a good husband, what it means to be a good wife, and hopefully we succeed in our children being the best spouses that they can be respectively. The next obligation a father has to his son is le lamdo umnus is to teach him a craft, just by the way. If we're already talking about marriage, I think it's very important for us to realize the mental health of our children and to ensure that they have the tools they need to be healthy adults. I think often it's overlooked by parents. They just want to get their kids.

04:50
You know, marriage will solve all your problems. No, marriage will magnify all of your problems. It'll put all of your problems under a microscope. And if you are fortunate to marry a good wife and your wife's job will be to bring you to a higher level of existence and to a higher level of responsibility, to a higher level of accountability. My friends, I've had friends who said, oh, I just wish my wife didn't comment to me. I wish my wife didn't correct me. I wish so why are you married?

05:34
Marriage is a workshop in character development and that is, I think, one of the most important aspects of life Is that, yeah, you can live your life on your own forever, but that's not going to make you a better person. You want to be a better person. It's not always going to be easy. You know, before people learn to drive, sometimes they're shaky, you know they might hit a curb, they might not know how to steer the car properly, but with learning they learn how to stay in their lane and to do. You know you need time, you need driver's ed.

06:12
With marriage, we need guidance, and that guidance is the years prior to marriage to educate our children to the responsibilities of taking care of their spouse, to the responsibilities of loving their spouse, to the responsibilities of nurturing a of their spouse, to the responsibilities of loving their spouse, to the responsibilities of nurturing a relationship in a healthy way. Okay, the next obligation a father has to his son, l'alamda umnes, to teach him a craft. And this means not only to give him business advice and to get him a job and to secure a future or a career for him, but also to teach them honesty, to teach them what it means to be in business, to teach them a craft that is one of dignity, one of proper conduct. Minolam, from where do we know that this is a responsibility that their father has to his child? To teach them a craft, amr Heizkiah said.

07:14
The verse states See life with the woman whom you love. What is life? Life which carries a connotation of a craft for a livelihood, and that is juxtaposed to a woman. Therefore, if woman, when the verse says woman, is understood literally, we can infer that that, just as one is obligated to take a wife for his son, so too he is obligated to teach his son a craft. Kach chayev l'lamda umnus Im toira hi. If, when it says woman, it is understood allegorically to mean Torah, we can infer that kishem shechayev l'lamda Torah. That just as one is obligated to teach his son Torah, so too, similarly, he is obligated to teach his son Torah. So too, similarly, he is obligated to teach him a craft. Kach chayef l'lamdo Torah. Because we mentioned previously that a father has an obligation to teach his child Torah. So either way, however you learn it, there's an obligation on a father to teach his child a craft.

08:21
Now there's a big argument now in Israel about the law of exemption for yeshiva students, which passed again this past week. It was voted on to keep the current status, the status quo, which is that if someone's trade, someone's craft, is Torah study, then we don't take them out of their craft to go serve in the military. They are exempt, for I think they give a deferral for two years so that they can continue to study Torah and then, after two years, if they're still learning, they get another deferral. But the idea is is that that we recognize and I think it's important for us to not minimize you know this is a little bit of current events but to not minimize the importance of torah being the foundation of the jewish people.

09:18
We as a people have always, always had a high regard for those who study torah. Even our egyptian, our egyptian captors, had a high regard for those who study torah, because we know that there was an entire city of people who were the levites, who did not get enslaved in Egypt. Their slavery was a different form of slavery. It was a slavery to the Torah, where they sat and learned Torah to preserve the Jewish wisdom, to preserve the Jewish study, and Pharaoh did not mess with them. So, even though all the Jews were slaving around for the Egyptians, there were still rabbis who were the untouchables. And in our generation, israel is no Egypt, it's no slavery.

10:18
We should at least acknowledge that our rabbis, our yeshiva students, rabbis, our yeshiva students, are holy representatives of our people, who are the arms, spiritual arms, behind our physical soldiers, and I really believe this. I even think that the rabbis have a big responsibility I'm talking about the leading rabbis of the generation and that is their responsibility is to promote more Torah study among our yeshiva students. I would love to see, in yeshivas, a non-stop study in the study halls of the yeshivas, 24 hours a day. It should be a rotation. Our soldiers are in the battlefield 24 hours a day. It should be a rotation. Our soldiers are in the battlefield 24 hours a day. They should be in the study halls 24 hours a day and without stop. They should have a rotation where there's always someone learning torah, because that is the spiritual force behind our soldiers. I think it's, it's you can't.

11:24
It's unarguable that the success that we've seen in Gaza is off the charts. We're in war for eight months already and the casualties are minimal. They're heavy and they're painful. Even one is too many. But considering that it's all-out war against a guerrilla combatant and you have a few hundred soldiers killed, that's it's numbers that have never been seen before in iraq. The thousands and thousands of soldiers that died, and the same in afghanistan, and the same in Afghanistan, and the same in any war. And to have just a few hundred, it's just, it's a miracle.

12:11
And I believe that the Torah study is the protector of the Jewish people. I don't only believe it. Hashem writes it in His Torah. So it's kind of like you know doesn't need my approval. So the Rites has cited yet another of the Father's obligations. And what is that? V'esha omrim, afloh, shita, banohar, and some say that it is the father's obligation to also teach him how to swim in a river. So the Gemara asks my time. What is the reason for this? The other ones make sense to get him married, teach him Torah so he knows he has a moral compass, that he has a direction in his life. He has a moral compass, that he has a direction in his life, he has a responsibility. But to teach him how to swim, what is that? Why is that relevant? My time, what's the reason? So the Gemara says it is his life at stake, meaning his life depends on it. The Gemara concludes.

13:00
Rabbi Yehuda says Anybody who does not teach his son a craft teaches him banditry. You're teaching him how to steal. If you don't teach him a craft, meaning if you don't teach him how to properly conduct himself in business, give him a livelihood so that he can support his family. If you don't give him a livelihood, what is he going to do? How is he going to put food on his table? He might have to resort to dishonest business ways. The Gemara asks do you think he teaches him banditry? I mean, come on, all he did was not teach him a trade. That doesn't make him a thief, that doesn't make him that he is now, you know, some immoral person in business. So what do you mean when you say that he's teaching him banditry? Rather, yehuda means to say that it is as if he taught him banditry, for since he has no craft for a livelihood, he will have to resort to stealing the Tanakhama, the first opinion that we brought also stated that a father is obligated to teach a son a craft.

14:12
The Gemara therefore inquires my Benayu what is the practical difference between the Tanakhama and Rebbe Judah? The Gemara answers the practical difference between them is where the father trained his son in business. The commentary over here says if the son is traveling in a boat. So before we talked about the teaching him how to swim, right? So about that? The commentary says that if the son was traveling on a boat that sinks, he will be in mortal danger if he does not know how to swim.

14:52
So for this reason, by the way, today, in modern 2024, the obligation is on every father to teach his child how to drive. It's the equivalent If we don't teach our children how to drive safely, how to change lanes and how to drive properly when it's at higher speeds. You have 85 speed limit in some areas in Texas, yet child has to know how to drive, because if we don't, they are in mortal danger. Because if we don't, they are in mortal danger. And this is a responsibility, it's not a joke. We can't throw this responsibility on other people. As a parent, it is our obligation to ensure that our child knows the ways of safety. Okay Now, according to the Tanakhama, the father is obligated, has fulfilled his obligation to giving his son the means of support.

15:47
But according to Rabbi Yehuda, a father is not yet fulfilled his obligation, since business is not a secure livelihood because there are times that no merchandise is available to be sold. During such times, the son would resort to theft. So what he's saying is that a person has to find a proper way for their child to support themselves. Now, this does not mean that if your child didn't find their job, that you failed in parenting. Your job is to teach them morals, ethics, values. That's also part of teaching them livelihood. We mentioned this earlier today. Okay, so now the Mishnah continues.

16:27
The Mishnah said In respect to all obligations that the father has to his son, both men and women are obligated. So the Gemara seeks to clarify this clause. What is meant when it says all obligations of a father upon a son? If one is to say that it means all obligations incumbent upon a father to perform for his son, how can the Mishnah say this? That women are also obligated? We learned in a braiso that the father is obligated with respect to his son, to circumcise him and to redeem him by specifying the father is obligated. This braiso implies that the father, yes, he is obligated to perform these duties for his son, imo lo, but his mother is not. Because why else would the breisa say that the father is obligated? It's saying specifically the father. So the Gemara explains the Mishnah.

17:38
The Gemara says this is what the Mishnah means Call mitzvahs, ha'av, hamuteles, al habayn, lasos, la'aviv. In regard to all obligations involving a father that are incumbent upon a son to do for his father, echad ha'nashim, ve'echad nashim chayavim, such an obligation, both men and women, sons and daughters are obligated. Thus the point of our Mishnah is that both men and women are duty-bound in the obligations that must be performed for one's parents. The following Brisa echoes that this point, tanina, we learned in a Brisa, we learned it actually in a Mishnah. L'chadu, tanar Rabbanon, we learned in our mission the same that was taught by the rabbis in the following when the Torah says you know that in the Ten Commandments in Exodus, it says In Deuteronomy, it says Right In the Parsha of Yisro, in the Ten Commandments, commandment number five, the Torah says Kabeh esavicha ve'asimecha l'ma'ani haricha niyomecha al'adama asher Hashem alokecha nosen loch, honor your father and your mother, so that lengthened will be your days upon the land that Hashem, your God, gives you.

19:14
Okay, so this is an amazing mitzvah. To honor your father and mother is not a simple commandment. It is a very serious commandment that comes with a reward that's given already in the Torah promise, which is very odd. You don't have that many times in the Torah where the Torah says guarantee this is your reward. And what is that reward? The reward is you will have an incredibly long life.

19:40
Now if we go to Deuteronomy, deuteronomy has the repetition of the ten commandments and you'll notice that there's a little bit of a difference in how the Torah says this same commandment. The same commandment is written Ish again, commandment number five. It says as follows and we are in Deuteronomy, chapter five, verse 16. So over here again it says Kabed esavicha v'simecha, honor your father and mother. However, kashat zivcha hashem alakecha, as Hashem commanded you previously, back in Exodus, however, so that lengthen will be your days and that it will be good for you upon the land. So he adds something here.

20:32
But when we continue a little bit further, he says the verse says that man shall fear his mother and father. So honor is your father first, fear is your mother first. So the obvious question that all of our sages dig at is what's going on over here? Why do we have the discrepancy of here the father precedes the mother and over here, the mother precedes the father? Our sages tell us a very important principle that honor is something that the mother naturally has more over the father from their children.

21:17
Give you an example you ever see at the Super Bowl. It's a few minutes before the Super Bowl and the camera zooms into the quarterback and the quarterback. You know they're interviewing the quarterback and they're saying, okay, so what do you have to say? Quarterback, you know they're interviewing the quarterback and they're saying, okay, so what do you have to say? And almost 10 out of 10 will say mom, this is for you. It's amazing, we've all seen it, we all know that right, because that's honor.

21:45
Honor is natural that the mother is honored. It's not natural that the father is honored in the same way. Therefore, the Torah says honor your father, which is not as natural, and then your mother, which is natural. But fear who does a child fear more? Fear the father that the Torah says fear your mother and your father. There's a reason for everything in the Torah, and the Torah is meticulous with every single word. It's our God-given document. It's not written by a bunch of rabbis, it's written by God, right Through the hand of Moshe, and therefore every word is calculated. Okay. So it says so from here.

22:30
I know only that about a man, that a man is obligated to revere his parents. From where do we know that this obligation applies to a woman as well? When it says you shall revere in a plural construct, you shall fear in plural, we know that it's referring to two. In Hebrew it's not ti-ra, it's ti-ra-u, which is plural. It may be inferred that the reference here is both man and woman.

23:06
The Bryce asks im-kein, that both men and women are required to revere their parents. Ma-ta-mud-lo-mer ma'at talmud lomer, ish. So why does it say ish? Oh, okay. So here we go. If we go to Leviticus 19, verse 3, you see ish imo ve'aviv tiro Every man, his mother and his father you shall revere. Okay. So this is that source that we were referring to earlier. So now the Talmud here says Imkein. If so, why does Scripture state every man?

23:44
The Brisa answers that the Torah specifies men for the following reason Ish sipek piyad olasos. Ish ain't sipek piyad olasos. Isha ain't sipek piyad olasos. A man is always able to carry out his obligations to his parents, but a woman is not always able to carry out her obligation to her parents. Mepnei she rishus acherem oleha why? Because when she is married, she's under the direction, the responsibility to honor her husband, and that takes precedence over the honor of her parents. So therefore, when it says ish, it's referring to a man who always has the obligation to honor his parents, versus a woman who has an obligation. For example, if the parents say one thing and the husband says something, who does she listen to? Her husband Takes precedence over her parents. So because she's not always able to fulfill the will of her parents, because it could be in contradiction to the will of her husband, therefore the Torah says specifically ish. But we also see that at the end of that verse it says tira'u in plural, that it refers that when she is able to, she should honor her parents like a man would.

25:01
Pursuant to this point about a married woman, the Gemara adds Amar Rav-Edi Bar-Ovin. Amar Rav Rav-Edi Bar-Ovin said, in the name of Rav nisgar shosh ne'em shavin. But if she becomes divorced, then both of them the woman who now doesn't have a husband to honor and a man have the same equal obligation, or equal with regard to their obligation to their parents. So the following brisom makes various analogies between one's obligation to one's parents and one's obligations to God. Okay, that, what happens if your dad tells you to do something but God tells you to do something else? So who do you listen to? Toner Rabboni?

25:41
Rabbi's Torah Nebrai so Ne'amar, kabed es Avichav Yesemecha. It says honor your father and your mother, ne'amar, and it also says Kabed es Hashem, mehoncha. Honor Hashem with your property, with your possessions. By using the same language in both instances Hish v'akosov, kibet haveim l'kvod hamakom. Scripture put the honor due to one's father and mother on the same level as the honor due to Hashem. So the same analogy applies to the mitzvah of revering one's parents Ne'amar ish imo v'aviv t'ro. It says that every man shall revere their father and mother. Ne'amar es Hashem, el kecho tira v'oso t'avo. And it also says you shall revere Hashem, your God, and you shall serve Him.

26:32
By using the same language in both instances, hishvah Kosov, the scripture compares or makes it equal the reverence that one has to their father, merah ava'im, to their father and mother, lemeroh hamakum merah samakum, to the reverence that one is obligated to Hashem. So the same analogy applies to the prohibition against one is obligated to Hashem. So the same analogy applies to the prohibition against cursing one's parents. Right Torah says that that one who curses his father or mother shall be put to death. Whoever curses his God shall bear his sin. By using the same language of both instances, hishva HaKosov's scripture puts blessing one's father and mother, which means to curse them, in the same level as blessing God.

27:34
However, with regard to striking, it is certainly impossible to make a comparison between parents and God, for God cannot be struck. You can't hit your God. You can hit your parents, you cannot hit God. The b'risah concludes by giving the rationale for these comparisons between parents and God V'chein b'din. And this is also logical. Sheh shlosh ton shutfin bo.

28:00
This is such an important principle in life. There are three partners to man. There are three partners God, a child's father and his mother are partners in creating him. This is the Talmud here in the bottom of Tractate Kedushin 30b, where we learn that a child has three. There's three partners in the creation of every human being the father, the mother and God. Commentaries say that a father provides the white, from which the bones, the sinews, the nails, the brain and white of the eye are formed. The mother provides the red from which the skin, flesh, blood, hair and black of the eye are formed. God provides the soul, the facial complexion, the sight, the hearing, the speech, the motion and the intellect. And that is from the Talmud, in Nida 31a, which talks about the division of what the father, the mother and God contribute to the life of a human. So the following Bryce elaborates on this theme.

29:15
Now that we mentioned this, while we're at it, let's just dig into this a little further. And this is the way the Talmud goes from topic to topic to topic. You mentioned something about the three partners. Let's dig into that a little. The rabbi there are three partners in the creation of a person the Holy One, God, the Father and the Mother.

29:44
When a person honors his father and his mother, the Almighty says Baruch Hu. The Almighty says God says I consider it as if I had lived among them and they honored me as well, meaning, if you honor the other partners of this trinity, then Hashem says I'm included in that. It's like you honored me, which is why, by the way, if you look at the Ten Commandments, the first five are between man and God and the second five are between man and man. But if you see the honor your father and mother is in the first half, in the between man and God section, it seems to be misplaced. But here we see why it's not misplaced, because honoring one's father and mother means you're honoring Hashem as well, you're recognizing the three partners of your creation. But if God forbid one was to disrespect their father and mother, it is also a disrespect to the Almighty and therefore Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, placed that in the category of the mitzvahs between man and God, because that is a demonstration of one's commitment to Hashem that sometimes it's not going to be easy to honor your father and mother, one's commitment to Hashem, that sometimes it's not going to be easy to honor your father and mother, but you do it because you realize that this is a way in which you honor Hashem as well.

31:19
A child is obligated with two commands regarding his parents Kabeh desavicha ve'asimecha, honor your father and mother and ish imo ve'aviv tero every man. You shall revere your mother and your father, which we mentioned from Leviticus 19. The first was Exodus 20, 12, and this is Leviticus 19, 3. In the verse about honoring the father is mentioned before the mother, whereas in the verse about revering, the order is reversed. The following, bryce explains this inconsistency, which is what we mentioned a little bit earlier. So, tanya, it is taught in.

31:52
The Rebbe says it is revered and known to the one who spoke and the world came into being, which is referring to the Almighty, that a son honors his mother more than his father, mipnei, because the mother wins him over with pleasant words. Therefore, the Holy One blessed is, he put the mention of honoring one's father before the mention of honoring one's mother. And it is clear before the Creator of heaven and earth, who said so, who spoke and it was created, that the son is more reverent and more fearful of his father than his mother Because his father teaches him Torah. Therefore, the Holy One blessed is, he put the mention of revering one's mother before the mention of revering one's father. So what we see here is the Torah is very, very explicit in its obligations and the order makes all the difference as well. It's not just oh, it's a commandment. Then this is the way. No, no, you've got to read into every single word, which is the feature of studying Talmud, where we investigate every word of the Torah.

33:31
The Torah thus teaches that the obligations a child has to his father and his mother, in regard to both honoring and revering, are of equal importance. So we see that it's not just enough for someone to have honor. What does it mean to honor one's parents? The Gemara says when your father comes into the room, you stand up for them. The father's putting on his shoes, you tie his shoes for him, etc. You don't sit in his place. There are things that demonstrate the honor that is obligated upon a child for their parent. Another b'risah that discusses the equality between the three partners in a child's creation Tana Kamei de Rab Nachman, a teaching of b'risahs that was taught in the presence of Rabbi Nachman.

34:23
When a person distresses his father and mother, he causes them pain or disappointment. The Almighty says I did the right thing by not living among them. I did the right thing by not living among them. If I had lived among them, I would have been pained by this. Hashem doesn't want to be pained. Hashem says if they're causing my children pain, I'm not there. I don't want to be involved with this. The theme of Hashem's presence in this world is continued with the following Amoreic teaching Omer Rabbi Yitzchak. Rabbi Yitzchak taught Kol ha-over haver b'seyser.

35:04
Anyone who commits a sin in private, in secret, ki ilu dolhek ragli hashchino, pushes away with his feet the divine presence. She-nem ha-kor mar Hashem ha-shamayim kis'i v'ha-oretz ha-dom ragli. The verse states Heaven is my throne and the earth is my footstool. The sages says that one who sins in a concealed place, apparently attempting to escape God's attention, is in effect saying that God is not there. Thus it is as if he is making the divine presence smaller by pushing it out of that place. So when a person sins privately, basically what he's saying is I don't want God to see me, so like I'm going to ignore God, he's going to ignore me and we'll just call it a day. No. So that's, you're pushing God away.

35:59
Rabbi Yishuv and Levi said it is forbidden for a person to walk four Amos, which is eight feet, with an erect posture of arrogance. You know, standing Like that's not a proper way for a person to walk around. Why? Because the verse states that the entire world is full of his glory. So why can a person, why should a person walk around with an arrogance, with his head helped eye chin, all the way up to the sky when you're in hashem's world? So we see that hashem is here in this world with us.

36:40
Rav Huna, bered, rav Yeshua. Rav Huna, the son of Rav Yeshua, lo Maske, arba Amos Begilu Rosh, would not go four Amos, which is eight feet, without his head being covered with a yarmulke, with a kippah or with a kerchief or whatever it was that he was covering his hair. Why? Because, he would say. Because he would say, the divine presence is above my head. And for those of you who know, why do we call it a yarmulke? Because it's a combination of two words Yare malke, fear of heaven, fear of heaven. What a yarmulke demonstrates is that I'm not just open, you know, freely with the Almighty. There's a sense of fear that one should have Yari Malka. That's yarmulke, right. It should be a sense of awe and reverence for the Almighty that there's something above me.

37:38
Now it's amazing that if you look at the religious leaders of every religion, they all cover their head. But in Christianity it's exclusive only the Pope. Why does only he get to wear a yarmulke? Cardinals, right, but they're at the top of the pyramid right. In Judaism it's not the case. Look, everyone's covering their head right Because it's a reverence for the Almighty. It's not just oh, you're the rabbi. You're the chief rabbi of Israel, so you cover your head. No, every person understands. You recite a blessing, you're talking to the Almighty. This is even people who don't observe anything of Judaism. They know I'm reciting a blessing. I cover my head. Why? Because it demonstrates a fear and a reverence for the Almighty. By the way, the Gemara says that it instills fear of the Almighty on the person as well. The person who's wearing the head covering it instills within them fear of heaven.

38:37
The Talmud in Shabbos says that there was one of the Tanaic sages' mother had a dream. She had a dream that her son was going to be a thief. He wasn't going to be honest. So she went to the great sage of the generation and she said what am I going to do? My son is going to be a thief. I had this dream, this vision. We know that dreams, the Talmud says, is the 60th of prophecy. So she had the prophetic vision. So the sage said make sure that from the second he's born, he always has a yarmulke on his head. He always has the fear of God on his head. So she did so.

39:13
One day he was in the field with the other scholars we're talking about. Now. He's a grown man. He's sitting in the field with the other scholars we're talking about now. He's a grown man. He's sitting in the field, always had his head covered. He never stole. A wind blew and his yarmulke flew off. Immediately he looked up, he saw it was a fig tree. He grabbed the fig and ate it and stole, and he was reminded of that responsibility that he has. If you want to contain that temptation, that desire or that urge or that tendency, you're going to need to make sure that your head is always covered.

39:48
That's a Gemara Talmud tractate, shabbat, okay, it was taught above that the mitzvahs of honoring one's father and one's mother are of equal importance. This gives rise to the following practical question. The son of a widow meaning his father died asked Reb Eliezer If my father says give me a drink of water and the mother says give me a drink of water, and the mother says give me a drink of water, which one do I give first? Do I give my father first or do I give my mother first? Amalot? He says leave the honor due your mother and attend to the honor due to your father, your mother, and attend to the honor due to your father, because both you and your mom are obligated in the honor of your father.

40:48
B'ol efenay, rabbi Yeshua, this same widow's son, this orphan, went to Rabbi Yeshua and asked him the same question. Rabbi Yeshua gave him the same answer. Question Armalo kach. Rabbi Yeshua gave him the same answer as Rabbi Lehezer Armalo Rabbi. He then said to Rabbi Yeshua, my teacher nizgar shamahu, what if his mother got divorced from the father? What is the law then? The mother asks and the father asks Now, the mother is not obligated to honor the father.

41:20
You said, the reason why he's obligated to give his father first the glass of water is because both of them are obligated to honor the father. But what's if she's divorced from him? She's not obligated to honor him anymore. So what would be the case, omar? Rabbi Yeshua said to him miben risa inecha nikar sheben almona ata.

41:44
From between your eyelashes, it is evident that you are a son of a widow, that your father has died. Hateh lohen mayim b'sefel. Pour water in a pitcher for them, v'ka'ka lohen ketarnagolas, and coo to them as if you were a rooster. Meaning the obligation to both is equal and therefore you have a challenge here. Now, what is the Talmud really saying here? First is, why does it refer to him as the son of a widow, not an orphan. And second, is what is he saying here that from between your eyelashes is that it is evident.

42:28
So the commentaries say over here a very interesting thing that Reb Yishua, discerning the excessive weeping that thinned out the questioner's eyelashes, concluded that he was an orphan. Therefore, the question had no practical application in this case and was purely theoretical, since the orphan falsely gave the impression that he was seeking a practical solution to this dilemma by saying my father, my mother, rabbi Yeshua answered him in a manner that was suitable for him. The Shulchan Aruch rules that in such a case, the child may choose whom he wishes to serve. First, he can choose his father or his mother, but again, because the mother is not obligated to honor the father because now she's divorced from him, it is an equal opportunity. He can either give the honor to his father or to his mother. All right, my dear friends, thank you so much for this Talmud study today. Next week, god willing, we will continue to talk about the three-way partnership between man, woman and Hashem in the creation of a child, and that will be on 31A. Have an amazing Shabbos, my dear friends.

43:50 - Intro (Announcement)
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