Thinking Talmudist Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of TORCH in Houston, Texas. This is the Thinking Talmudist Podcast.

00:14 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
Okay, welcome back everybody to the Thinking Talmudist Podcast. We're coming to you, live from Torchwood, our annex, our annex, and it is great to resume our Talmud study on page 31a, folio 31a, in tractate Kiddushin. Last week we discussed the importance of education, educating our child in accordance with how Hashem wants us to educate our child, which is sometimes, you know, what the world may say is the most important thing for our child may not be exactly what God thinks is the most important thing for our child. And we talked about this in great depth last week. Today we're going to continue the Talmud and talk about understanding God's presence in this world. So we're almost in the middle of the page.

01:09
Amr Revi Yitzchok Revi Yitzchok said Anyone who commits a sin in secret, he pushes away, as it were, the feet of the divine presence. Sh'nem ha'kar ha'mar ha'shem-shamayim ki-sivo oretz ha-dom ragli Thus says Hashem, the heaven is my throne and the earth is my footstool. So if you push away God, you're pushing away God's presence. And we know this is a fundamental principle that God's relationship with us is identical to the relationship of ours with our spouse. You see, if we push away our spouse, what's going to happen? They're going to push us away. And if we bring them close, they bring us close. It's reflective. The same exact. It's reflective, the same exact pattern is how we see our relationship with God. If we bring God close, god is close. If we push God away, god forbid be distant.

02:19
Rabbi Yeshua ben Levi said it is forbidden for a person to walk four amos, which is about eight feet, with a posture that is arrogant, like an upright, you know, haughty posture. As the verse states, the entire world is full of his glory. If the entire world is full of Hashem's glory, then why are we being so arrogant? This is the obvious perspective that we need to have in our daily relationship with the Almighty is to understand that we need humility. So the first is someone who sins privately. And what does that mean? Sinning privately? If someone thinks like, oh, nobody sees me, I'm closed in my room, here I can sin, no one's going to know. Well, your neighbors and friends might not know, your family might not know, but the Almighty God, creator of heaven and earth, god knows and God sees. So that would be pushing away God. The second thing that Talmud says here is that it is forbidden for a person to walk. Why? Why is it forbidden for one to walk, because if someone gets into the habit of walking in a posture of arrogance, then they're going to act in a posture of arrogance and then they're not going to have friends, no one's going to want to be around them, it's not going to be pleasant to be with them and therefore Torah already gives us advice here the honor and glory of God is throughout the world, not you per se.

04:02
Rav Hunah, b'reder av'yishu. Rav Hunah, the son of Rav Yeshua, said lo maski arba amas begili rosh, that he did not go. It's said about Rav Yeshua, rav Hunah, the son of Rav Yeshua, that he did not go. Four amas, which is about eight feet, with his head uncovered without a yarmulke. He said the divine presence is above my head. He said the divine presence is above my head, shechina l'mala miroshi, because the divine presence is above my head. What does that mean?

04:29
Anybody familiar with what the word yarmulke means Today? It's abbreviated in Hebrew as kippah, but the truth is it's called yarmulke, and our sages tell us why Because it's a combination of two words Yare malke, fear of heaven. Fear of two words Yarei Malka, fear of heaven, fear of the king. That's a yarmulke. That tells us something that really what it's supposed to be is a humbling garment where we realize Hashem is right above us. The truth is, hashem is not only above us, hashem is everywhere around us. You know, as children we learned the song Hashem is here, hashem is there. Hashem is not only above us, hashem is everywhere around us. You know, as children we learned the song Hashem is here, hashem is there. Hashem is truly everywhere Up up, down, down, right, left, all around here, there and everywhere. That's where he can be found. That's the truth. The truth is, hashem is everywhere. It's not like, oh, hashem is there in the heavens. No, hashem is here, right now, right here. In every object that you touch there's godliness.

05:29
It was taught above that the mitzvos of honoring one's father and one's mother is of equal importance. This gives rise to the following practical question you know what the question's going to be right? And, by the way, what did we say when we spoke previously in our classes, many times, even in this Talmud class? That the entire world, all the other religions, have a policy, not a no-refund policy, no-question policy. Don't ask questions, because if you question, that means that you're doubting. In Judaism, we don't think that In Judaism the policy is differently. Ask questions, because when you ask questions you're pursuing the truth. Yes, sir, no, but you see, the Talmud is written 2,000 years ago.

06:22
Yeah, the Talmud is written 2,000 years ago and this is documented here in the Talmud that Rav Huna, the son of Rav Yeshua, was wearing a yarmulke. So it's at least 2,000 years. At least 2,000 years, I believe. It goes all the way back, because the same wisdom that we have today was even greater back then and people understood that, in order to have a constant reminder of the presence of Hashem, it would be appropriate to have a barrier between us, at least above our head, so that we can constantly recall and bring to our consciousness the presence of Hashem. So let's go a little further here.

07:04
The Talmud says the son of a widow his father died asked Reb Eliezer, if my father says Give me a drink of water, and the mother says Give me a drink of water, which one of them should be first, should be served first? The father or the mother says give me a drink of water, which one of them should be first, should be served first? The father or the mother, amar Le'er of Eliezer, said Leave the honor due to your mother and attend to the honor of your father, because you and your mother are obligated in the honor of your father. The widow's son, this orphan, then appeared in front of Rabbi Yeshua and asked him the same question. Yeshua gave him the same answer as Rebbe Leiezer. He then said to Rebbe Leiezer Amarlo Rebbe. He then said to Rebbe Nisgar sha'amahu if she, if my mother, is divorced from my father, then what do I do? If she asks and he asks equally to give him a drink of water, who should I serve first, amarle Rebbe? Yeshua said to him Miben risi inechon niko sheben ha'amonato, from between your eyelashes, meaning probably he cried a lot. It is evident that you are a son of a widow. Your father has died. He says pour water into a pitcher for them and coo to them as if they were roosters. Meaning the obligation is both equal. You're equal to both. Why? Because now the mother is not obligated to the honor of the father. Why? Because she's divorced from him.

08:56
The Talmud now continues Another teaching based on the three-way partnership of the creation of man. Darash Ulam Rabba Apitcha de Benissiyah Ula the great, expounded at the entrance of the house of the Nasi. It's a very important thing that we can learn from this. By the way, every word here, if you look in the great commentators like Ben Yehoyada or the Maharal, every single word that is said in this Talmud, in all of the Talmuds, is elaborated on and expounded on as to why these words were chosen by our sages. You think that it's like, oh, it's a man-given document, but it's written with divine inspiration. So it's not just words's very, very, very critically important words. We're not going to get into that depth right now. But when it says that he gave it in the house of the Nasi, the Nasi was the leader of the Jewish people, of Yehuda Nasi.

09:58
What's interesting is that a student is not allowed to teach in front of his rabbi. That means if someone asks a question to the rabbi and the student is standing next to him and the student answers before the rabbi, it says that he is obligating the death penalty. He's warranting the death penalty. Why? Because all your priorities are wrong If you answer in front of your rabbi. It's the same thing, by the way, with a parent. So an ultimate sign of disrespect is not giving the father the opportunity to answer the question. He's showing like he doesn't know or he's not important, or I don't respect him by answering in front of him, which is something to be very, very conscious of, something to be very, very careful. So the Gemara now says that if he was teaching, ulu was teaching at the entrance of the house. It's most likely because Ulu was there. They don't want to teach in front of Ulu, so he taught it at the entrance, before everyone walked in.

10:59
Ma yedachsev, what is the meaning of that which is written, Yoducha? What is the meaning of that which is written? All the kings of the world will acknowledge you, hashem, because they heard the statement of your mouth. It doesn't say the statement singular of your mouth, but rather the plural of your mouth plural. What does that mean? So B'Shosh Ha'amara, hakadosh Baruch Hu?

11:29
This indicates that when God pronounced the first two commandments of the Ten Commandments, anochi Hashem Alekhecha, I am Hashem, your God, and Lo Yelecha, you shall not have other gods before me. Amru U'mos haolam, the nations of the world said l'chvor atzma hu doresh. Oh, you know why God is saying this For his own honor. God is doing it for his own ego, for his own honor. Kevan sha'amar ka'a b'desavicha ve'asimecha.

12:01
But as soon as they heard God pronounce the fifth commandment of honor your father and mother, they retracted their position and acknowledged that the first two statements weren't for God's honor. They were to give us the proper structure and balance in life. It's very important. We've said this numerous times, but you need to understand this very, very carefully, please, my dear friends. There is no extremism in Judaism. If you see an extremist in Judaism, there's something wrong. There's no extremism in Judaism. Look through the entire Torah, look through all of our history and anytime you find extremism in Judaism, look through the entire Torah, look through all of our history, and anytime you find extremism, you see people who were pushed away as a result of their extremism, because extremism has no place in Judaism. Okay, so Judaism is the exact balance, if I were to ask you.

13:02
I got a question yesterday, actually a very beautiful question. A young 12-year-old girl writes the following question. She says after October 7th, 2023, when the greatest calamity to the Jewish people, an attack, a terrorist attack on our land, on our people, with over 1,200 people murdered brutally and over 200 hostages taken to Gaza since the Holocaust, we've never had something like this. So this young girl asks. She says every day, I was attached to the news, to the hostages, I was praying for them every single day to a point where my teacher said to me you know, it's really unhealthy for you to be so attached to this. Maybe take a little break and stop listening to the news, maybe stop. And the student says but I want to feel connected to our brothers and sisters who are in a challenge. What do I do? Should I listen to my teacher or should I not listen to my teacher? Listening to my teacher would mean turning off the news and almost forgetting about it, just maintaining a regular life. But watching the Israeli news and reading the papers brings about the awareness. And my answer is exactly what we just said.

14:27
The key to success in Judaism is balance. It's important for you to feel the pain and the struggle of your brothers and sisters, but it's also important for you to have a normal life, a normal, healthy existence. Because if you're sitting all day and crying and lamenting and you can't move on, that's a problem too. You know, we see with the laws of mourning that the laws are very extreme in the beginning but they very quickly taper off. It starts the first three days of very serious days of mourning. The second three days are a little bit less, for the first three days of very serious days of mourning. The second three days are a little bit less.

15:07
For the first three days you cry. Second three days of the shiva you're not supposed to cry anymore. Then you have the 30 days. 30 days, certain limitations, but not all the restrictions. You can shave after 30 days, right. Then you have till the end of the year, which is, you know, you can't listen to music, you shouldn't celebrate at a wedding and things like that. So there are different restrictions. It starts off with the more severe and then it eases off as you go past it, because there has to be a balance and limit.

15:44
If you're going to be crying every single day for someone who passed away, there's something unhealthy. So what do we do with our hostages, with our brothers and sisters? Look, you see this pin I wear to remind me every single day, when I put on my jacket, that we have brothers who are locked up, who are in exile, who are being taken advantage of, who are hostages, who are possibly being brutally beaten, if not murdered. Already We've seen this from the other hostages. This is tragic. We should feel that pain, but along with that, we have to be very, very careful to maintain a healthy balance, to ensure that we can maintain a normal life. Yeah, things might change. We'll do a special mitzvah for them. We'll do something every day, we'll say a verse, we'll learn a mishnah, we'll dedicate some time of not speaking Lashon Hara, perhaps even will do a mitzvah for them. But to maintain normal life is very, very important. So that's my answer to the question and I hope that it helps. Now, an alternative source for this teaching. You're going to ask for a second and we'll see this, and I'm sure that Talmud is going to elaborate on this. I think we did this Talmud before, but we're going to continue. We'll do it again.

17:20
Rava Omar Rava says that we derive this teaching that you, that the nations of the world, were accusing God of self-proclaiming arrogantly for God's own purpose and then, when they heard God saying that you should honor your father and mother, that there was a bigger picture here. Rosh Tvor Chaim, as the verse says, in the beginning of your word, your utterances is true. Rosh Tvor Chaim, as the verse says. Rosh Tvor Chaim, as the verse says it is meant to imply the beginning of your utterance is true, but the end is not. What does it mean? Why does it say Rosh Tvor Chaim? Rather, it means that from the end of your utterance, meaning the command to honor your parents, your father and mother, it is evident that the beginning of your utterance, the first two commandments and do not have other gods before me that those are true as well.

18:24
Having shown that the nations of the world recognize the importance of honoring one's parents, the Gemara cites two examples of how certain Gentiles honored their parents to illustrate the extent of this obligation. How far, to what extent, do we need to observe the mitzvah of honoring one's father and mother? Do we need to observe the mitzvah of honoring one's father and mother? Amar Lahem Rav Ullah answered them Tzu'u uru'u ma'asa ovat kochavim echad me'ashkolon. Go and see what one idolater did in Ashkolon, v'damad ab'in esinashmo, and his name was Damad ben Esinah. Pa'amachas bikshu chachamim prakmat.

19:03
It once happened that the sages needed a certain merchandise from Dama Ben-Hassina and it was going to be the value of 600 gold dinars. But the key to the chest, to the treasure chest that had that piece of merchandise, was lying under his father's pillow and his father was sleeping at the time and he did not wake up his father, he did not disturb his father. A more detailed version of this incident, rabbi Yehuda said in the name of Shmuel. They asked Rabbi Yehuda, to what extent do we need to honor our father? Is said in the name of Shmuel, sha'alu es herv'eliezer. They asked herv'eliezer, ad heichon kibra ve'eim, to what extent do we need to honor our father and mother? Amr lehem Rehoboaz said suru umah osa ebed kachavim echad lo'aviv be'ashgalon. Go see what this idolater did for his father in. They asked not for a piece of merchandise, but rather it was specifically for the stones for the eifod, which are the stones that were on the shoulder. It was going to be the value of 600,000 gold dinners.

20:24
An alternative version Rav Kahana asked me that it wasn't 600,000 but rather 800,000 gold dinars. Let me ask you a question. Do you know how much ink was just used to give another version of the same exact story? You just did like three lines, four lines of Talmud. You accumulate that into all of the pages of Talmud that were ever printed and that's like I don't know, like hundreds of thousands of dollars of ink on those lines throughout our history.

21:01
For what? Another version of the same exact story? Who cares? So 600, 800, there's a large sum of money. Who cares? He said the story like this. He said the story like that. You know why? Because when your mission is authenticity, when your mission is accuracy, when your mission is truth and nothing but the truth, every single detail counts, every yes. The version said by so-and-so, which is slightly different, it's not a piece of merchandise. It was actually for this part of the. It wasn't 600, it was 800. It wasn't 600, it was 800.

21:46
Most people would say let's leave it simple, let's say one story so that we have a clean story and no one's going to question it. No, no, no, I heard a different version of that story. We're going to say every version of the story. You know why? Because we value emes. It's truth. What is emes? Emes is the name of Hashem Truth. Hashem Elokeichem emes. So that's the way we conclude the Shema thrice daily Hashem Elokeichem emes. You know the name of Hashem Emes. Why emes? So this is a little bonus for those who are in the middle of doing the Hebrew reading crash course here at Torch.

22:28
Aleph is the first letter of the Alephbet, mem is the middle letter of the Alephbet and Toph is the last letter of the Alephbet. All of those three letters that spell out the word MS have two legs. Aleph has two legs. Mem has two legs and Toph has two legs. Aleph has two legs, mem has two legs and Toph has two legs. Sages, tell us, because truth stands forever. Truth stands forever. Also, you see that it's balanced Aleph at the beginning, toph at the end, mem in the middle. It's balanced. What's Sheker?

23:08
Falsehood, a lie. The Shin comes to a point, the Kuf comes to a point and the Resh comes to a point. They're all standing on one leg. You know what happens with falsehood. Eventually it falls. It may take five years, it may take ten years, it may take five minutes, it may even take a five years. It may take ten years, it may take five minutes, it may even take a hundred years, but it will fall. Truth stands from beginning of time to the end of time, and present MS will always stand. Truth will always stand. This is our greatest value.

23:45
My dear friends, if there's one thing we learned today from our Talmud class, it should be this that truth is our number one agenda. As Jews in the study of Torah, our number one agenda is truth. What's the truth? Give me the truth. I've had dozens and dozens of people come here to this class from other religions and they wanted to convert to Judaism and I asked them why? Why would you go from seven commandments to 613 commandments? Are you nuts? I can give you like a thousand things that people can volunteer to do, rather than undertake another 606 commandments. Why would you take another bunch? Why would you do that? You know what their answer was.

24:45
I grew up in this and that religion and I was searching for truth and I started asking questions and it all fell apart. You see, when you ask questions, it doesn't fall apart. When you ask questions, it strengthens things. When you ask questions, it solidifies things, it knocks away the falsehoods and it keepsens things. When you ask questions, it solidifies things, it knocks away the falsehoods and it keeps the truth. If we want to succeed in life, we need to be able to ask questions, ask, ask, ask questions. Questions will clarify and crystallize things.

25:30
Okay, the Talmud now continues. The narrative is resumed, but that key to the treasure chest that contained the precious stones was lying under his father's pillow, and his father was sleeping at that time, and Dama bin Nesina, dama, the son of Nesina, did not disturb his father. The next year, the Holy One blessed is, he gave Dama bin Nesina his reward, because you know that God loves when someone does a good deed and you will always be rewarded handsomely for your actions. You do something good. Do not think well, I don't know if I'm going to be good enough to get that reward. That's not the case.

26:15
God remembers everything, which, by the way, is the theme of Rosh Hashanah. We're approaching Rosh Hashanah soon and one of the things that we see is that God, which is a common theme, zichronos Hashem, remembers everything. We bring the memory of Abraham, the memory of Isaac, the memory of Jacob, of course, our matriarchs as well. V'zolcher, chazdei, avos. God remembers the kindness of our ancestors and God brings the merit, the reward, to us. You know you once did something good. You remember a few years ago. I'm sure you do good things every day with your community, respectively, with your neighbors, with your friends, with your parents, with your children, with your siblings, with your relatives, with your community, with your rabbi. You do an act of kindness. You know who sees that. You know who's going to reward you for that the almighty.

27:28
I remember on my very first job as a volunteer. I was running a camp in the former soviet union and I was. I was I would say I was apprenticing. I was an apprentice. I was young, I was an apprentice. I was young. I was an apprentice to someone who was running this camp for many years and he was guiding me, showing me how to do this, how to do that, what to do, when to do, how to do like you know, the whole operation.

28:00
We were once sitting there late at night working one of the first days of camp, and it's like three or 4 in the morning. I have to be up at 7 o'clock for lineup for camp, for the campers, and it's like falling off my face. My eyes are closing, you know. It's like really late at night. And he says to me I want you to know something. You think tomorrow morning you're going to be a big hero and everyone's going to be like, wow, you were up so late at night to make this program happen, to make this camp run smoothly, for this and that to happen. You think people are going to acknowledge you and people are going to recognize how hard you worked, are going to acknowledge you and people are going to recognize how hard you worked.

28:49
He says you're absolutely wrong. No one knows the work you do, no one recognizes and no one will ever appreciate how hard you work, except for Hashem. He says you see, every Shabbos we say whoever volunteers and assists with the community faithfully, meaning, without expecting reward, without expecting recognition. I'm going to read to you the actual verse in the prayer in the liturgy that we say every Shabbos V'chol Misha'oski, Mitzor, chetzibar, be'amuna. In the prayer in the liturgy that we say every Shabbos, and all who are involved faithfully in the needs of the community, may the Holy One blessed is, he pay the reward and remove from them every affliction. You know who's going to reward you, hashem. You know why because nobody else knows what you've done. Nobody sees those late nights, nobody sees the struggle of the challenge. Nobody sees it. You know who does Hashem does. That's why it says HaKadosh Baruch Hu, yishalim Sacharim. Only the Almighty knows, he sees. No one else is going to recognize.

30:17
You see these sages who came to Dabba Ben-Hassina's house. They said we heard they knock on the door. They say we heard that you have these precious gems. We want to buy it from you. He says hold on a second, let me go check. Sorry, I can't help you. They thought he probably extorting them for more money. They didn't know what he was doing, they had no idea, but Hashem knew. So here Hashem, a year later, gives this non-Jew his reward for honoring his father. What happens? L'shana acheras the next year, nosen haKadosh, baruch Hu'schoro, the Almighty, gave Dama Ben-Hassina his reward. Shenoldolo porah aduma, be'edro that a porah aduma, a red, red heifer, was born in his herd, and so the sages of Israel went to him to purchase the parah adumah. Dama Ben-Hassina said to them I know you, I know you, rabbis, that if I would ask you any money in the world, all the money in the world, I know you and that you would, you would give it to me. However, I'm only going to ask for you, from you, the money, the amount of money that I lost as a result of honoring my father, that he destroyed me in the name of my father.

31:52
The Gemara comments about this incident. Look at, this non-Jew who is not obligated to honor his father Receives the reward. Someone who is commanded, a Jewish person who is obligated to this mitzvah by the Torah, who is commanded to honor his father or mother. Imagine how great his reward is going to be. The reward for someone who is commanded to perform any performs is greater than one who is not. You know, it's like it's interesting.

32:36
We just had a debate this week and there were many, many, many, many Monday morning quarterbacks that I've heard Everywhere online on the internet, in podcasts, in videos. Everyone's like she should have said this, he should have said that. They should have said this. He should have said that. They should have done this. They should have done that. That's because we don't have the pressure or the obligation to perform in a debate. But when you're standing on that stage perhaps one of the largest stages in the world where you have tens of millions of people who are watching your every word, your every movement, your every gesture of your face, it's not as easy when you're under that pressure, when you have that obligation to perform. Yeah, me sitting in my house, very easy to give my commentary about what they should have said, what they could have said. When someone is commanded to do something, it's much more difficult and therefore more rewarding by the Almighty for their performance.

33:43
The Gemara now continues. The Gemara says pursuant to the last point, the Gemara adds Rabbi Yosef Me'eresh hava minat. First, I used to say that if someone would tell me that the halacha accords with the opinion of Rabbi Yehuda, who said that a blind person is exempt from performing the mitzvahs, I would have made a holiday for the rabbis, because that would mean that I, since I am blind, am not commanded to perform the mitzvahs, and yet I do perform the mitzvahs, meaning I'm not obligated to, but I do. So the reward would be great. But now that I learned, but now that I've heard the teaching of that means that he who performs out of obligation is greater than he who performs with a lack of obligation, who's not commanded. On the contrary, if someone were to tell me that the halach was not like Rabbi Yehuda and that my mitzvah is greater, then I would make a great celebration, a holiday for the rabbis.

35:05
Another incident involving when Rav Dimi came to Babylonia from Eretz, yisrael, from the land of Israel. He said it once happened that Dama Ben-Hassinu was dressed in a gold-embroidered silk cloak. He was sitting among the nobles of Rome and his mother came and she ripped it off, him, that gold cloak, and she hit him with it on his head and she spat at his face and he did not shame her. He didn't say anything. Hey, mom, what are you doing, mom? Are you crazy? He didn't say anything like that.

35:54
Another teaching on the mitzvah of honoring parents Tana avimi, berei de rabi avoh Avimi said, in the name of Rabi Avoh Yesh macho lo'aviv pisyoni, one can feed his father pisyon birds, which is a type of bird, a fatty bird, that was a delicacy from the family of the sloth that fell for the Jews in the wilderness, a very, very fancy, expensive delicacy. However, the Aruch defines it as a pheasant. So someone can feed his father, this V'etor deminolam, and this act can drive him away from this world, out of this world. Why V'yesh matchino, b'rechayim him. And one can make his father grind with the millstone, which entails far greater labor, and this act can bring his life and earn him life in the world to come. Why, one, you're giving your father a delicacy and it's you're not going to get your reward for it because it's a terrible thing. And the other, you're making your father work hard and you're going to get a reward for it. How does that work? So, on what we discussed previously, it's simple to understand.

37:28
The Gemara cites how Avimi actually honored his father. Bavo said Omer B'avoh Ki ga'on Avimi b'rei kayam mitzvahs kibud. Someone like Avimi, my son, fulfilled the mitzvah of honoring one's father appropriately. We're going to answer the question in a minute. Chamisha b'nei samchi. Havalay la'avimi b'chayav aviv.

37:50
Avimi had five ordained sons during the life of his father Avahu V'chi havi osa, rebavohu kare Abavoh. Nevertheless, when Rebavoh came calling at the door, rohit ve'ozo posach, le'avimi himself came to run and open it. Ve'amer in in adimitei hosam, calling yes, I shall open it. Yes, I shall open it until he arrived there. Yom echadah amar leh ashkion mayah.

38:22
One day, abavoh told Avimi get us water to drink. Adaytei leh nimnem. While Avimi was bringing the water, abavoh fell asleep. Gochin koyi alehi ad the Isar. Avimi bent over and waited for him to awake. Istayeya milso vidorash Avimi mizmor le'asaf. What happened While he was waiting? A divine inspiration came to him and Avimi expounded the prayer of the Psalm of Asaph.

38:57
What are we saying here? What's the story here? We have to understand that honoring one's father and mother needs to be custom tailored. You see, we think that I'm going to honor my father the way everybody honors their father. What's if your father doesn't appreciate that? What's if your father? I'll give you an example.

39:22
Imagine our current story from the Talmud about Dama Ben-Hassina. His father is sleeping. His father wakes up and he says to him son, so what happened when I was sleeping? What did I miss? He says oh, nothing.

39:38
Just a few rabbis came. They wanted to buy a certain gemstone, you know, for 600 gold dinars. He says and what did you do? Did you sell it to them? He's like no, of course not. You were sleeping. They don't want to wake you up and take the key from under your pillow. No way, I wouldn't sell that. I mean, how would we react to such a thing? If that happened, could have sold a gem for $600,000 and you didn't wake me up. Are you crazy, right? What father wouldn't get upset?

40:19
Why would the Talmud give us such an example to say, oh, this is an example of a good child, this is a great example? The answer is honoring your father is custom, tailored to your father. If your father appreciates his steak to be done a certain way, when you prepare a steak and you do it a certain way, even if you think that that's not the good way for it to be done, but that's the honor for him, that's his honor. It doesn't say honor your father the way you want to be honored. Honor your father, it's for him and it's Avichah, your father, not another person's father, not the way someone else. It's personal, it's direct your father. I think it's so important for us to understand that it's not a one-size-fits-all. It's unique, it's special, it's personal. It's your father, just like you, as a child shouldn't be educated. We'll see this also.

41:41
The Torah says King Solomon teaches us educate your child according to his way. What's his way, his way, my way, or his way, the child's way? It's the child's way. What's his way, his way, my way, or his way, the child's way? It's the child's way it needs.

41:58
The education needs to be custom tailored for the child. The child is the one that we need to be concerned to ensure that they have the exact education that is perfect for them, to ensure that they have the exact education that is perfect for them. One child needs more. One child needs less. One child needs this. One child needs that. You need to educate each child according to their specific makeup, according to their nature, according to their specifications. Just like you know, you wouldn't try to put a diesel fuel into a regular you know unleaded fuel gas tank and vice versa, and you wouldn't try to put gas into your Tesla. Some things are just doesn't work. That's exactly the way we need to custom tailor our relationship with our parents. Very specific.

43:12
It's an obligation for us to honor our father and mother. And if you look in the halacha that talks about honoring father and mother to stand up when they walk in the room to tie their shoes for them. Now again, if it's an honor for the parent that you tie their shoes, if it's not an honor for the parent, the father's going to kick you. What are you doing? Don't touch my boots, parent that you tie their shoes. If it's not an honor for the parent, the father's going to kick you in the. You know what are you doing? Right, don't touch my boots. Don't tie my shoes.

43:39
Father might appreciate it, though. You have to know your father and that's the obligation. The obligation is know your father. You need to know what your father likes, what he appreciates. My father had a thing you can borrow his car anytime you wanted, but if he woke up and his car was not in front of the house, he may not need it, but he needs to be there. My father, he needed his car to always be there. You need to have that freedom to know that he can go if he needs to go. Need to have that freedom to know that he can go if he needs to go. That's the honor Some fathers. They need to have their hot tea. A certain way, that's their honor.

44:29
The halacha tells us a child is not allowed to sit in the parent's seat. That means that if a father and every father should do so have an assigned seat, this is the father's seat. You know what you do by having that you give your child a mitzvah every time they don't sit in that seat. This is daddy's seat, that's mommy's seat. Children can rotate seats. They can play here, go here, go this seat, that seat. This is daddy's seat, this is mommy's seat. That's a mitzvah that they fulfill every time.

45:07
Hey, dear friends, we should all merit to perfect our performance of a mitzvah, a mitzvah, any mitzvah we talked about this previously To fulfill the mitzvah to fill in one time in our lives properly the mitzvah of tzitzis or talis, the mitzvah of Shabbos, the mitzvah of honoring our father and mother, the mitzvah of returning a lost object. We have a plethora of mitzvahs 248 performative mitzvahs, 365 prohibitions. So many opportunities to do great mitzvahs. Let's go get them. Hashem should bless us all to have unbelievable success in every one of our endeavors. My dear friends, thank you for joining us. Have a magnificent Shabbos.

46:00 - Intro (Announcement)
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