Thinking Talmudist Podcast · Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe

00:00 - Intro (Announcement)
You are listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Thinking Talmudist podcast.

00:13 - Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe (Host)
All right, welcome back everybody, welcome back to the Thinking Talmudist. We are on 7b in the tractate of Brachot. Last week we discussed that an amazing phrase stated by the Talmud that Every single utterance of the Almighty meaning everything that happens you hear this, carlos Every single thing that happens to us is l'tova is for good. Not always are we able to feel it, to understand it, to recognize its goodness, but every single thing that comes from the Almighty is good. Okay, you got this Amazing. It's an amazing thing. We mentioned we talked also last week about Leah that she was the first one to give special thanks to the Almighty, recognizing that she got beyond her sheer. Now the Talmud is going to conclude a series of statements from Rabbi Yochanan in the name of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, and we'll see. The Talmud says some interesting things here about names. Rabbi Yochanan Am Rabbi Yochanan. There's nobody who called God Adon, master, lord, until Abraham called God Lord, master of the universe. And then we brought the verse for that and this we all discussed last week. Now the Talmud says, having mentioned about Leah we talked about Leah that Leah thanked Hashem. We say Abraham recognized Hashem as master Leah taught us what it means to be thankful. But she said after she had Judah, what was Judah? Judah was the fourth child she had. Now we knew a prophecy, that they knew a prophecy that Jacob was going to have 12 children, 12 sons, the tribes Having four wives. Each wife would have three. That would be proper. What did Leah have? She had six and the other wives had two each. That's amazing. She got more than her shear. So she said Now I am beyond grateful to the Almighty. Three was my shir. Beyond my shir is an unbelievable thanks to Hashem that I've received more than my calling. Now we have to recognize this In our blessing that we recite after we eat foods, certain foods we recite the Birkat Hamazon.

03:06
So, for example, after one recites okay, so let's just do short introduction here. There are six blessings that can be recited before foods are eaten. There's the Hamotzi, which is on bread, and that qualifies for everything beneath that except for wine. The next is wine. The next is borepria agafen for wine, and then we have boremi nemezonot on all pastries, cakes. That's the next category. So pretzels will fall into that category, things that are made out of flour and water that are not bread. Then you have things that grow from a tree borepria ets. You have things that grow from the ground, borepria adamah, and then things that grow above the ground like sugar candies or eggs or chicken or meat, things like that that are generalized foods that fall into the category of Sha'akol Niyam B'dvarah.

04:07
After blessings, we have the main blessing of Birkat Hamazon, which is the grace after meals, which contains three plus one blessings, a fourth one which was added later for the rebuilding of Jerusalem and for different thanks to Hashem, which is the fourth blessing that was added after the Haruge Betar, after those who were killed in Betar that their bodies did not rot after they were found. So there was a special thanks that was added to the Birkat Hamazon for that. And so we have those blessings. That's the main for bread, but for wine and for pastries there's a different blessing called Me'in Shalosh, a micro three blessings. It's a shortened, abridged version of the full Birkat Hamazon. It's called an Alamechia or Alagefen, but it's the. It's the Me'en Shalosh. And then we have the Borei Nefashot. Borei Nefashot is a very short blessing, very short, but 20 words. And what is that blessing? I want to learn that blessing with you and we'll go a little bit further in the Talmud here. The Talmud here talks about this blessing in right.

05:31
So it's a good question whether or not we should recite a blessing on something that the Almighty really doesn't want us to eat. So I mean, here's the real question. It's like should I thank my mother for taking the chocolate chip cookies she didn't want me to eat, right? And tell her it was delicious, right? It's kind of like, you know, like a slap in the face or sort of Like God is telling me not to eat this in his Torah. But I'm going to go and be kind and say, hashem, thank you for this. So it's a very good question. I think everyone should make their own judgment whether or not it's the right thing for them to do. There definitely isn't a specific blessing for that. Like God, I'm thanking you, even though I'm doing something that you don't want me to do. Yeah, yeah, 100%. That is any time a person apologizes to the Almighty for something that they did. That is not good.

06:21
Let's define what is a sin. A sin is something that distances me from God. Define what is a sin. A sin is something that distances me from God. What is a mitzvah? Something that gets me closer to God. Okay, so all the mitzvahs 613 mitzvahs that we have in the Torah are tools to get closer to God. A sin is something that distances me from God.

06:42
God says this food is not good for you, and we discussed this previously in this class about food that we eat. That's not kosher food. That God says, prescribes in his Torah not to eat is food that creates a spiritual barrier for us to connect spiritually. It creates a barrier, so we have to remove that barrier. What do we do? How do we remove that barrier? That is repentance when someone repents. How do we repent? We don we have to remove that barrier. What do we do? How do we remove that barrier? That is repentance when someone repents. How do we repent? We don't go to a confessional and we don't ask somebody else to die for our sins. We take personal responsibility and we talk to Hashem. How do we do it? Talk to Hashem.

07:20
You can sit in your car and you can do this at home. You can do this anywhere you are. You don't have to do it in front of anybody. Nobody needs to do it. You can say Hashem, please forgive me, for I have sinned. Hashem, I did something that is against your will. I did something that you probably don't agree with and I'm sorry that I betrayed our relationship, the relationship where you invest so much in me and I let you down Hashem, please forgive me. That's it that needs to happen.

07:48
We're going to say and you can disclose Hashem, I did this, I went someplace I shouldn't have gone. I said something I shouldn't have said. I ate something I shouldn't have eaten. I thought thoughts I shouldn't have thought. These are all things, these are all equal level sins that a person can apologize and you confess, you own up to it, you accept that I'm not going to do this again in the future. You don't do it while you're eating. Hashem, please forgive me. This is delicious, right. We don't continue. We don't do it while we're sinning. We have to distance ourselves from that sin and then we're given atonement for our sins and that's an amazing thing that we have in judaism, that we don't have. We don't have in any other religion either way.

08:35
The talmud in tractate barachot, which is our tractate, page 37a on the top, says on the Talmud that says here that one should recite the I'll read it right here in the English Okay, king of the universe, who creates numerous living things with all their needs, for all that you have created with which to maintain the life of every being Blessed. Is he the life of the worlds? This is the blessing. That's it Very short. Let's understand what's in these words.

09:25
Most beautiful commentary on the Talmud, the Tosafot. It says as follows what is that? Hashem created numerous living things, with all their needs. It's all of Hashem's creations. Hashem created, like we mentioned last week, you cannot have a pet hamster and not feed it and expect it to live. You can't have a bunny rabbit in a cage and not feed it and expect it to live. Hashem cannot put us into this world and not feed us and expect us to live. So Hashem has, at the very minimum, he needs to give us bread and water, like bread and water, for we cannot survive without bread and water, humanity cannot survive without bread and water. But do we need potato chips? No, we can live a perfect life without potato chips. In fact, I adventure to say that our grandparents lived a very, very, very beautiful life without potato chips. They didn't have that. Did they have popcorn? Maybe, maybe not, but they could live a very good life without it. And of all that you have created for the living, they have a living. Popcorn, maybe, maybe not, but they could live a very good life without it.

10:48
ועל כל מה שבראת להחיות בהם נפש כל חי, and everything that you have created with which to maintain the life of every being. That's the next level, כלומר meaning to say על כל מה שבעולם, שגם אם לא ברם יכולים העולם לחיות, meaning to say that everything that you've created in your world, that even without them, the world would be fine. Second level this is luxury level. There Want to hear what luxury is. Why did Hashem create them? Hashem created these things only for pleasure. That's luxury, high level luxury.

11:36
Let me ask you a question Did anybody walk here today, or did everybody come in an air-conditioned car? Everybody came in an air-conditioned car, right? What's the minimum Hashem needs to give us? He needs to give us feet to walk, that's it, okay. So you find in our generation where we need to be mobile, so we need a car. Do we need air conditioning? No, I remember my parents having a car that didn't have air conditioning. You opened up the windows and you had air conditioning. That was it. And I remember the rear-facing bench in the back of the station wagon. I remember that. We all remember that. You don't right, mark. You don't remember that he didn't have a station wagon. I know that was what it was To have an air-conditioned car, leather seats, sunroof, self-driving Tesla Ooh, I can't say Tesla, it's a buzzword.

12:32
Now, again, again, right, it's triggering, right, so right. Self-driving cars. You have today all the technology. That's all luxury. We're living luxury lives. You have more than one garment of clothes. It's all luxury. We're living luxury lives. You have more than one garment of clothes. It's luxury life.

12:48
You have want to hear what the Talmud says here. You want to know what luxury is? Ki gon tapuchim Apples that's luxury. You can live your entire life without an apple and your life would be perfect. You know why Hashem gave you apples and he gave you peppers and cucumbers and tomatoes, tomatoes and popcorn and all of those other luxuries. You know why he gave you that Because he loves you and he wants you to live a luxury life. These are all things you did not need. But Hashem says you know what? I love you, I want you to enjoy. I'm going to give you this anyway. I'm going to give you this anyway.

13:32
And you conclude, and we conclude, the blessing with the following words of blessed is he the life of the worlds? Thank you, hashem for giving us a life that is beyond our needs, a luxury life. And most people will say I live a very simple life, I don't have a luxury life. Really, have you ever eaten an apple? That's a luxury life.

14:00
You walk into a supermarket and you see the beautiful coloring book of the Almighty, all the delicious colors, the beautiful scents, the aromas Delicious. God didn't need to give us that Bread and water. That's it. That's it we needed, that's it we need to have. And yet Hashem gives us so much more than that. So the Talmud here is stating that Leah, our matriarch, taught us what it means to give thanks when you have even one here, more than your calling what your needs are. That's luxury. Life beyond luxury. So the Gemara now says another statement from Shem Bar Yochai Beyond luxury. So the Gemara now says another statement from Shem Bar Yochai Koshe tarbus roh b'soch beisoch shol, adam yoseh mi melchemes, gog and magog.

15:01
A degenerate child in a person's home is an affliction that is more severe than the future war of Gog and Magog. It's a pretty serious thing. Shemari brings a verse, a song of David as he fled from Avshalom, his son Bixiv Basrein. It says right after that that David said, with regard to his degenerate son Avshalom, that David said with regard to his degenerate son, avshalom Hashem how many are my tormentors? Many rise up against me. What does King David say about? What does it say in our prophets? About the future war of Gog and Magog? It says why do the people gather and the nations talk in vain, whereas how many are my tormentors is not written there, right? It doesn't say how many tormentors. They just spoke about us in vain, loxif. So now the Gemara repeats the verse cited above and asks Mizmor L'david b'varuchom ipnei avsholomno, when it says that King David said that he was running away from his son, avsholom and he fled from him.

16:21
In view of the tragic circumstances under which this psalm was composed, the title A Song of David seems to be totally out of place. Why is it a song? Why is it a song? This should be like a plea of David. It should be like whoa unto David, right, that he had a son that was degenerate and he had to run away from him. Why is this a song? Degenerate and he had to run away from him. Why is this a song? It says it should have been a lament of David, not a song of David. The Gemara answers.

17:03
The son of Avi Shalom says To what is this compared To a person against whom a loan document is produced? Before he pays it, he's troubled. After he pays his debt, he's happy. He says so too with David. Af tan, af, kein davit. So too was with David. Since Hashem said to him I will raise up evil against you from out of your house, david was saddened.

17:46
Omar Shema, eved O Mamzer, hu D'lo Chayisalay. Perhaps it will be a slave or an illegitimate child who will not have pity on him. Kevan the Chaza, the Avsholom who Sameach. Once he saw that it was Avsholom, who he assumed would have pity on him, he rejoiced and therefore he said Mizmar, mishum, al-qiyamah Mizmar. Therefore, he said it was a song, even though okay, even though it wasn't a great thing, but it was better than he thought it would be Meaning. He found the good in it. It was a song, notwithstanding the pain, the sorrow, the terrible torment that it caused him, but it was better than the alternative and therefore he made it as a song, and I think this is an incredible statement of how we need to look at things. It could have been so much worse. Thank you, hashem. It's a song. How much worse could it have been? Oh, so much worse. Imagine if, if only right. Okay.

18:57
So he says it is permissible to contend with the wicked in this world. As it is stated, those who forsake Torah praise the wicked and those who adhere to the Torah contend with them. It is also taught in the B'rai Tzoh. Rabbi Dostoi said, in the name of Rabbi Moson, mutul Yizgaras Barashon B'Lamazet is permissible to contend with the wicked in this world. Those who forsake the Torah praise the wicked, and those who adhere'nemar Ozevei Torah Yehalelu Resha. Those who forsake the Torah praise the wicked, and those who adhere to the Torah contend with it. Be'im l'choshcha, adam lomar. And if someone should whisper to you and say v'aksiv al tizchar, b'mireyim al tikana, be'oseh avlo. But it is written. If someone will say do not contend with the wicked, but be not zealous against evildoers, reply to him and tell him that one whose conscience smites him explains the verse in this manner, meaning you're explaining. You're understanding it wrong, ella. Rather, you should correct the interpretation. Do not compete with the wicked Leos. Do not attempt to be like the wicked.

20:19
So if we go back to the Talmud that we missed a little earlier, it talks as follows having mentioned the reason Leah named her fourth son Judah. The Gemara now expounds on the name of the first son, reuven. We know the names of the tribes. We know it's very important for us to remember names have meanings, every name, which is why our sages tell us it's very important for someone to call themselves by their name, by their own Hebrew name, which is why our sages tell us it's very important for someone to call themselves by their name, by their own Hebrew name. And if you call someone by a nickname, it's really a terrible thing, terrible thing. Why? Because the name is your essence. You're changing their essence by calling them a nickname and if it's a derogatory name, that's embarrassing, you call them. Oh, hey, hey, shorty, right, so that is a derogatory name and that is embarrassing to a person, aside from being a nickname that is prohibited.

21:19
So the Talmud now says what is the name? Reuven? Reuben Amar. Rebbe Elazar. Rebbe Elazar says Amrazar says See re'u, the difference between my son and the son of my father-in-law, isaac's son, esau.

21:41
Regarding Esau, what does it say? Regarding Asaph, what does it say that the son of my father-in-law, even though he voluntarily sold his right of his firstborn to Jacob, because it says that he sold his birthright to Jacob. What does it say about it? Ve'yishtom Yisro', ve'yishtom Yisro' e'esav es Yaakov. It says that Esau harbored hatred towards Jacob V'ksiv.

22:18
And it also is written Ve'yomer hoch yikro' shmo Yaakov, ve'yakveinizeh pa'mayim. He said Is it because his name was called Jacob that he outwitted me two times? He took away my birthright and see, now he took away also my blessing. He took the birthright and he took the blessing, however, my son blessing. However, my son Ruvain. Even though Joseph took the right of the firstborn from Ruvain against his will and when he defied his father's bed, his right of the firstborn was given to his sons, to the sons of Joseph. He was not. Notwithstanding this, reuben was not jealous of Joseph. Rather, he tried to save Joseph's life. Dehsiv, as it is written Vayishma Reuben, v'yatzilehu miyadom. They listened to Reuben and they went to save him from their hands.

23:42
See what's going on here. Leah saw. She named her son Reuben. Look at my son. My son is different than the son of Isaac. Isaac had a son, firstborn son named Esau. Esau willingly gave the firstborn birthright and, as a result, lost the blessing. Okay, he willingly gave it and yet he still hated Jacob. You've stolen it from me twice. What do you mean you gave away the birthright that goes with the blessing? My son, reuven, who's the firstborn, is going to be taken away, that firstborn right, and given to his brother, and notwithstanding that, he still loved Joseph and tried to save his life and he wasn't jealous of him. He says look at the contrast here, look at the contrast between Esau Birthright was sold willingly and he lost the blessing. He hated him. Here he was taken against his will, the blessing was taken away too, and he still loved him. He says look at what a son I have, reuven. Look at the son that I have.

25:07
After explaining that a name affords us a glimpse into that person's future accomplishments, the Gemara proceeds to expound on the name of Ruth. Who is Ruth? The mother of all converts, an amazing woman? Ruth the Moabite, my Ruth. What is the significance of this name?

25:28
And just by the way, I don't have it here at the magnificent Levitt Family Library here in the Torch Center in Houston, but I have a book at home which goes through every name and tells you the root of every name and the characteristics that come along with the name. And it really is remarkable because you see that there are certain threads that go through names and when you have a name and name, those forces and powers are embedded into that name. An amazing, amazing reality. The Hebrew name carries a lot. It carries really a lot. Well, we'll see what it represents in a minute, but I can bring that book and it'll give a full description of all the characteristics. But we see here that the name was showing a distinction. See my son. See my son. Look at how he's going to be so unique and so special that he's going to give in, he's going to be accepting, he's going to be loving, notwithstanding the quote, what seems to be a wrongdoing, that his birthright was taken away from him.

26:42
So now, what is the significance of the name Ruth? Rabbi Yochanan says Shezachsa v'yotza mimena david, she rivohu la'kodesh boruchu v'shiros v'sishpachos, or. She merited this name, has got to be so powerful. She merited that. David descended from her. Who sated the Holy One. Blessed is he with songs and praises.

27:09
And the Gemara asks Menolon d'shma'ag gorim. And from where do we know that her name Ruth caused that future occurrence? Gemara answers Amir Ebelozer. Ebelozer says the verse says L'chu chazu mif'olos. Hashem asher, sam shamos ba'aret. Go and see the works of God, for he wrought devastation in the land Al-Tikri, shamos, el-shamos Don't pronounce it as shamos, which means devastation, but rather pronounce it as Shamos names. He put names into the land, meaning there are rooted traits, characteristics, in every name, which is really an amazing thing that we see that names carry such a tremendous power, that a name, there's threads, that you can see People who carry a certain name, the characteristics, like you know the Davids? Yeah, he's a David. You know, that's a type of personality. There's a Jacob. That's a type of personality. Different names carry different characteristics.

28:25
There was a young man who came to Houston and asked him what his name was. I'm not going to say the name because I don't want it to go out and people say, oh, I know that guy. Whatever, either way, he faced a lot of challenges, a lot of challenges in his life and when I called him he had two names. I called him by both names. The rabbi who was visiting in town that this person came to visit, that came to see. He said don't call him by both of those names, just call him by the second name. I said why that? I said why, that's his name, I'll call him by both names. He said no, no, I'll call him only by the second name. I said why? He said because it's known that anybody who has that name which was his first of the two names and has an older brother with that name that the older brother has, it causes tremendous turmoil. Those two names in one family, with the older brother being that name, the younger brother being that name, the younger brother being that name, causes tremendous havoc. So call him just by the second name, because bringing that name to the four will bring chaos into his life.

29:31
Very interesting I want to tell you that when my oldest son was born, my wife and I were contemplating what name to give him. Obviously, the first name goes to the wife's side, second name also goes to the wife's side, and the third name also. That's what my rabbi told me. He's like it always goes her side. When she gives you one, say thank you, okay. So either way.

29:55
So it was going to go for her grandfather. It was Yisachar Dov, and so she was going to go for her grandfather. It was Yisachar Dov and I said you know, yisachar is, you know, I know that that's her grandfather's name, but it's like I'm not going to be calling him that name. It's not exactly one of my favorites up there and on the list of names. But Dov I love the name Dov, I'll call him Dovi, but you know it's like should I call him that name? Like I'm going to call him both names after her grandfather, I was like I'm not going to use that name.

30:21
He says you have to give the name. If you want it to be a merit for someone who has passed on, it has to be the full name. I said but I'm not going to call him by that name and if you don't use the name you'll lose the name. He said it's okay when you give out kiddush on Shabbos, call him by his full name, because the halacha says that if you don't use the name once in 30 days then the name is lost. So like this he doesn't lose the name. Call him by the name once a week. So that's what we did and we called him by both of those names and I call him once a week. He gets called by that name when I give him his kiddish wine at the Shabbos table.

31:04
And the same thing with all of my children who have two names Not most of them. Four have two names and four don't. Four only have one. And those that have two names. I call them the full name only on Shabbos, and you know that's that way they don't lose the name. But the name has a tremendous power. A name has a tremendous power and we have to be very careful. So just another thing about names. We were already talking about names.

31:33
The Midrash says that the parents of the child get a prophecy of what to name their child. It's an amazing thing that I, with a number of my children, we were thinking one name and then, at the actual moment to call the name, like on the way out to shul, to give the naming for a baby girl, or on the way to the bris to give the naming for the baby boy. That's when we made the decision of what to like. You know, like it's been simmering for two, three days or a few months before the baby's born. We don't we, by the way, as, as my wife and I, uh, have decided that for any of our children, we don't want to know the gender prior to the baby being born. No, gender reveals none of that. We don't want to know and we ask the doctor please don't tell us. We don't, you know, we don't want to know so, and we have reasons for it.

32:32
You know my great aunt was the head midwife in Shari Tzedek Hospital for 50 years. She delivered babies. She delivered over 40,000 babies in her career. They say between 40,000 and 50,000 babies. It's unbelievable, those numbers. Just like she was on night shifts. She unfortunately never had any of her own children and she delivered babies every night. She was on a night shift. She lived in Jerusalem. People are popping out babies pretty frequently, so it's like you know really special woman.

33:03
And she said she can tell the moment a couple walks into the labor and delivery room whether or not they know the gender. She said the level of excitement is completely different when they know, like okay, we're going to have our baby. When they don't know, there's a level of anticipation and excitement that is palpable. You can tell the excitement. I want that excitement. It happens to be that the Midrash says that it's one of the few things that are hidden from a person. Now, that does not mean that you can't find out with technology that you can't find out, or that it's a sin to find out. That's not what I'm saying. Okay, so don't quote me on this on the internet and tell me oh, the rabbi said you should not find out. That's not what I said. The Midrash says it's one of those things that is hidden and, again, if someone wants to find out, they can and there's nothing wrong with it. I know many people who are God-fearing Jews who know the gender of their baby before the baby is born. Again, that was our decision not to find out. Okay.

34:04
There's one more thing I want to say about names, and that is in-laws. And now that I am an in-law okay, I'm a father-in-law I've told my children I said this to my parents as well, and my in-laws as well if you're old enough to have children, you're old enough to name them. All right, parents meaning the grandparents, the in-laws it's not their business what they name their child. All right, it's not their business and they should butt out of it. Right? They're old enough to have their child. They're old enough to name their child and I declare here, right here, on this 28th of March in 2025, that B'nai Adar, without a promise, because we're not supposed to make an oath, I will not get involved. I'll not get involved in the naming of their children, of my God-willing grandchildren. They should be healthy, be well and be safe always and grow in the ways of Torah and mitzvot. I don't want to get involved in the names of my grandkids. That's the parents' involvement and I think it's unfair.

35:09
I have been called numerous times by students who are in absolute turmoil because their in-laws said they wanted them to name their child this way and their parents wanted it to be that way. I'm like it's not their business, it's not their place. They had their children, they had their opportunity. This is your child and if you decide that you want to name your child something which is absolutely crazy, that's your choice. That's your child. You bring the child into this world. You have the right to name your child. So that's my soliloquy on this issue. You've heard my opinion on this. So, yeah, I'm very opinionated about this because I've seen the pain and distress that it's caused young couples who are so you know they want their parents to be happy. They want their parents to be, you know, to feel honored and respected, and the parents are imposing on them that they have to name their child so or so.

36:13
This is the unwritten part of Torah. This is the unwritten part of Torah. It's the parents' responsibility, not the grandparents'. I think it's common sense that parents should not get involved in this Again, the pressure that they put. You have to name your child, this, you have to name, you know, aunt Sally and Grandpa Joe and this, and that there's no reason for grandparents to get involved in this. Okay, either way. I think that's it about names. Okay, so now you know what. Where are we holding? Oh, we're ready overtime. Okay, my dear friends, have a great Shabbos. I'm honored that you've all been here today. It really is truly a blessing. Thank you for learning Torah together with me and for learning Talmud. Great to see everyone. Drive safely. Have a great Shabbos

37:13 - Intro (Announcement)
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